Me and Tawnya and Michelle

While I live in an Assisted Living Facility (for Mezozoics), I try to keep up with what younger people are doing. And what a lot of you seem to be doing lately is writing 100 things about yourself, at the request of other writers. Ol' Hoss knows you're tempted like a mosquito at a mudhole to know more about me, so here goes. However, to limit myself to 100 things would be to shortchange myself. I got about 200 good qualities.

1. I know you are prettier/more handsome than anybody in the world.
2. Except I am prettier.
3. I fib a lot.
4. I prevaricate.
5-99. I will lie to you.
100. I am prettier than you.
101. I own the Brooklyn Bridge.
102. I don't want to sell it to you.
103. I lie a lot.
40-199. Et cetera, et cetera.
200. My hunkiness is beyond compare.

I'm glad you now know me much better.

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I got a ladyfriend (friend who is a lady) down in St. Louis who sometimes writes pieces for the internet, name of Tawnya Morris (she and her husband, Dave, got links at left; that Dave is one helluva writer). Tawnya is a Realtor, wedding planner, former beauty queen and gourmet cook. So on any given day she is showing buildings, getting trouble-free weddings hatched, signing 50-60 autographs for beauty worshippers and shipping off recipes to that Emeril guy. She doesn't have much time to write stuff.

So I'm helping out today by telling you what she told me during the 5 minutes she had between selling Busch Stadium and the Naming Rights to the St. Louis Arch. It seems that Tawnya landed the listing on the Only Ranch Style House in All of St. Louis. She is showing it to Budweiser heirs Roy and Roxanne BuschBud.

Tawnya: "The carport leads..."
Roy/Roxanne (in unison): "Carport! Nirvana!"
Tawnya: "To an arched entryway."
Roy/Roxanne (in tandem): "Oooo. Atlantis!"
Tawnya: "It has three bedrooms and two baths."
Roy/Roxanne (as one): "Mecca!"
Tawnya: "And have you noticed the plastic flamingoes in the front yard?"
Roy/Roxanne (together): "Garden of Eden!"
Tawnya: "The asking price is $380,000."
Roy: "Surely you jest. You must have overlooked a number."
Tawnya: "Why, yes, silly me. The price is $3,800,000."
Roy: "Here's my check. Oh, boy, people in California would give anything for a house like this."

Roy and Roxanne spent the winter in Nirvana. Tawnya and Dave spent it in Bermuda.

(On second thought, I might have dreamed this. The Tawnya I know would have spent the winter in Cancun, or Cabo San Lucas.)

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I also got a ladyfriend (friend who is a lady) named Demented Delusions Michelle (link at left). She sometimes writes stories about vampires.

A vampire is a thing that goes burp in the night.

I hear she is branching out to write about diarrhea victims. Things that go dump in the night.

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Tomorrow, Blogger willing, I will start telling you about My Grand Plan to Make Us All Rich. You're welcome.