My buddy Feelgood Haines jumped me bright and early today."Hoss," he says in that whiny pinched voice of his. "Folks tell me you been callin' me a hillbilly."
"Oh, I wouldn't do that," I said disarmingly. "Everybody knows you West Virginia people is some kinda folks."
"I will have you know that 'hillbilly' is now politically UN-correct," says Feelgood. "We-uns is now officially 'Ozark-Americans.'"
"Huh," says I. (I am always ready with the riposte.)
"Yeah," Feelgood says. "So now excuse me; I got some possums to fry."
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I descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to. --Phyllis Diller.
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The head doctor (conjures up visions, don't it?) is doing the morning rounds with his students. He pauses before a patient and says, "This man limps because his fibula and tibia are badly arched. Bernie, what would you do in a case like this?"
Bernie: "Yeah, well, um...Yes, I think I'd limp too."
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My favorite phrase today is middle age. N., when you and I were young, Maggie. Def.: When you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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