Here's something else I stole -- A few paragraphs from our local weekly:"Nov. 4, 7:04 p.m. -- A library patron reported that she was browsing the book stacks on Oct. 29 when a man took a book off the shelf, sat down on the floor 4-5 feet away, and started masturbating.
"The man asked her if she needed him to move and she said no, then left.
"She thought he then followed her out of the library and continued following after she drove away in her car. She thought he got stuck in traffic."
(Yeah, that stuff can really be sticky.)
+ + + + + + + +
An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living his last days in the Old Folks Bide-a-Wee Rest Home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace. "My Private Part died today."
"Oh," she said, unenthusiastically.
The next day, Nurse Tracy sees Mr. Wallace going down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.
"You shouldn't be going around like that, Mr. Wallace," she said.
"But," says Mr. Wallace, "I told you yesterday my Private Part had died. Today's the viewing."
+ + + + + + + +
Life is like a dog sled team: If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. --Lewis Grizzard.
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is life. N., live long and live medium-well. Def.: A bitch that has puppies.
No comments:
Post a Comment