Can She Bake a Cherry Pie, Charming Guadalupe?

Why fewer and fewer young lads decide to marry.

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My local newspaper recently ran a picture of a lady, Guadalupe Rodriguez, at a makeshift shrine dedicated to a cooking sheet in Houston. Here's what the caption said: "Rodriguez, a cafeteria worker at Pugh Elementary, discovered the likeness of the Virgin Mary on a cooking sheet while cleaning lunch dishes on Ash Wednesday."

I have seen lots of stories like this. I have never seen the newspaper ask, "Which Virgin Mary?" Consider:


Now then, whicha these Virgins is the real deal? To those who find the doll all over the place (on a piece of toast, in ice-frozen windows, for instance), the Virgin Mary is the classic Virgin Mary. So what do we make of these Virgin Marys? Did you know that Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Titian, Botticelli and hundreds of other painters have painted "pictures" of the Virgin Mary -- all of them looking different from each other. We don't know which is accurate, for they did not have any Canon digital cameras when the V Mary was alive.

My guess is that Guadalupe is deceiving herself and others. That is, everybody knows they didn't have cooking sheets back then.

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Try this: When you next get hiccups, eat two green olives.

Let me know if it works. I never get hiccups, myself.

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My favorite phrase today is Cesearean section. N., close for me, please. Def.: A neighborhood in Rome.