I swiped this from someplace, maybe over where the perverts hang out:A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over, sliced the man's weenee off, and angrily tossed it out the window.
Driving behind the couple were a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the johnson smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what was that?"
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It...it was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
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From my newspaper, The Oregonian: "The Walt Street Journal reports, 'Todays simple truth: Half of all children are below average in intelligence.'"
(Hey, kids, look at the kid next to you in class. Is he or she stupid? If not, it's you.)
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The redneck's pickup line: Your face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
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My favorite phrase today is food. N., eat before the ants get here. Def.: An important part of a balanced diet.
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