Back to the veggie garden: I growed this little sucker, which isn't so little in fact. It weighs 18 pounds, almost as much as your last baby. This here is a winter squash, name of Galeux d'Eysines. It might be French.
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Here are some sillies that people have said from time to time:
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina.
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -Keppel Enderbery.
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -Mark Fowler, FCC chairman.
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Joe Theisman, NFL sports analyst.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -Bill Clinton, President. (I bet you thought this was something W would say.)
"That low-down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." -A congressional candidate in Texas.
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -Al Gore, Vice President.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -Hillary Clinton.
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I am going to give you one guess to come up with a caption for this photo. If you are funnier than I am, you win something of my choosing, which won't be worth much but you'll have the glory of knowing you beat me at something. Here's my caption: "Moon River"*+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is foreploy. N., ho ho har de har har, very clever. Def.: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
(*Let me point out this is not a buttcrack photo. This is whole ass, so it doesn't count against me.)
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