Tomorrow, the Scamp and I go off to Hawaii. I intend to become a poi-master.+ + + + + + + +
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home and start feeling better each day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for high school: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby.
You spend your last nine months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap, and then....You finish off as an orgasm.
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This guy goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a lady sitting by herself.
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Lady: "No thank you. Alcohol is bad for my legs."
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Lady: "No, they spread."
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Here's from an MSNBC report discussing Michele Obama:
"But one facet remains a mystery: What kind of first lady would she be?
"This question is something rarely asked of the better known and understood Bill Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards."
Bill Clinton? First Lady? I do not think he will look good in a skirt....
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My favorite word today is gargoyle. N., strange thing, like a Medusa. Def.: Olive-flavored mouthwash.
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