And a Dead Man's Chest*

I bet you thought I had run out of rabbits. Never happen. And so: Rabbit! Rabbit! (See, you say this at the first of the month and you'll have plenty good luck. According to the Pez Family, anyway.)

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This is one of the swell original cartoons that are done by my buddy, Sim. He's a crafty young guy.

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I got trapped into doing one of those computer questionnaires; this one was designed to tell me my "real age" as contrasted with my present years age of 76.8. After assessing my various troubles (heart, lungs) and my pills (synthroid, chloresterol, etc.), the site declared that I am in "pretty good shape for a guy whose body age is 90.3."

That would be funny if it weren't so ridiculous.

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Two men were driving through town when they got pulled over. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and "Whack!" -- the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.

"You're in Wilsonville, son," the cop answered. "When we pull you over in Wilsonville, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer," he replied. "I'm from California and didn't know your laws here."

The cop runs a check on the guy's license -- and finds out he's clean. So he gives the guy his license back, then walked around to the passenger side and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The passenger rolled down the window and "Whack!" -- the cop belted him with his nighstick.

"What did you do that for?" asked the passenger.

"Just making your wish come true," replied the cop.

"Making WHAT wish come true?"

"I know you Californians," the cop says. "Two miles down the road you were going to say to your buddy, 'I wish that asshole had tried that shit with me.'"

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My favorite word today is sarchasm. N., representative of the Grand Canyon. Def.: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

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(*This is another of those titles that doesn't mean anything. I have lots of those.)