Only in America and Elsewhere

Only in Thailand...

Only in India...

Only in China...

Only in America...



Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheesburgers, large fries, and a diet cola.

Only in America do banks leave the doors open but chain the pens to the desk.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: In Latin, "Poli" meaning "many," and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

Only in America do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

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So Brenda and Steve took their 6-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, Steve explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."

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My favorite word today is ecnalubma. N., do we need more vowels there, bub? Def.: The kind of emergency vehicle you only see in a rear-view mirror.