Some Things Happen; Some Things Don't

This here is a rabbit.  Says so on the back of the card.  And it's here because we always show you a picture of a rabbit on the first of the month so you'll have good luck all month long (pervided you also say Rabbit! Rabbit!

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I got an interesting question in my comments a couple of days ago:  "Is it true that you are not alive?"

There is no way to answer that.  If I said, "I am, indeed, not alive,"  I would have lied to you.  If I said, "It is true that I am not alive," I would have lied, again,  because anybody knows dead men don't type.  Or eat quiche.

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I also got some other, more serious questionables, to which I will pay honor and keep.  For instances:

Did you have a career in newspapers or magazines?  This, I think, was a serious questionable, so I'm going to treat it seriousity.  So the answer(s) to your question is:

Right the first time.  And the third time and the fourth time, and the sixth time, and the seventh time.  But not the second time, the fifth time, or the eighth time, or the ninth time, or the tenth time, or the 11th time, or the 12th time.   That describes the number of times I was in the newspaper business, and the times I wasn't.   By the end of it, I was on Social Security.  Funny career, that.

When are you going to write a Dear Hoss B**g?  Paul Nichols

Right now.

Dear Hoss:

Q.  Is that a piece of big acne you got there, or is that a case of cleft palate?  OH

A.  You been lookin' into my profile, ain't-ch?  Sneak.  Well, if it's any biziness of yourn, it ain't neither none.  But if you want one, I can tell you how to get it fixed.  Send me dollars two.

Dear Hoss:  Tell us a bunch of things about you that we don't know about.   Tlp. 

A.  No.

Dear Hoss:  What is your favorite sweet?  Miz Mell

A.  Boy, I sure wish I knew which one of you honeys asked this.  Yum Yum Yumster!!

Dear Hoss:  Can we send you something for the holidays?  Miz Mell

A.  When people offer to send me something, I am all GIMME!  See, it's because they

don't HAVE to, but they WANT to.  Which makes me so delicious.

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My favorite word today is heart.  N., It's gettin' near Valentine's day, right?  Def.:  The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest with an axe.