When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."
The Arab, obviously impressed, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the Arab world we havr so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one, either."
The Redneck girl, cool as a cucumber can be cool, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass in the air, whips out her .45 and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. She catches her glass, sets it on the bar, and calls for a refill.
"In America," she says, "we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
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In Wellington, Florida, 20-year-old Frantz Leger, was arrested at a mall for wearing droopy jeans.
Said Palm Beach County Sheriff's Lt. Jay Hart, "The Mall doesn't put up with that tom foolery-buttcrap. His pants were down below his butt. No one goes to the mall and wants to see the crack of someone's butt."
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Hers and my, favorite pastimes......
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New Office Policy
Dress Code
1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci Bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raiser.
3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therfore you do not need a raise.
4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of illness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to go to work.
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My favorite phrase today is hard work. N., when you break out in perspicacity. Def.: Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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