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Sometimes, the most joyful moment of my day is sitting down on the toilet. How about yours? (This gem comes to us courtesy of Vitamin Sea, down there in FLA.)
This, by the by, is FLA.+ + + + + + + +
As long as we're in Florida:
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette out of the dealership. Taking to the road, he floored it to 80, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought, as he flew down I-75. Looking in his rearview mirror he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
So he did naturally what any Florida boy would do: He gunned it to 100, then 110, then 120! But then he thought, "What am I doing? I am too old for this." And so he pulled to the side of the road.
The trooper walked up and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused, then said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
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Groucho Marx: "Peter O'Toole is really lucky. He has two penis names."
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My favorite word today is testickle. N., let your
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