After You. Alphonse

This fella can play him some harmonica.

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It was April, and the Aboriginals in a remote part of South Australia had asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days had passed he had an idea. He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Weather Bureau, and asked, "Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?"

The meteorologist responded, "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold." So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

Two weeks later the elder called the Weather Bureau again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the elder inquired.

The weatherman replied, "There are reports that the Aboriginals are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign."

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Everybody seems to be concentrating on a few problems in this country other than the economy: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, and alligators attacking people in Florida. So naturally, here is Ol' Hoss's all-in-one solution:

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send gthe dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
+ Put the alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

If you have any other problems for me to solve today, wing 'em my way!

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My favorite phrase today is Birds of a feather. multiplicity of a noun. Def.: They flock together and crap on your car.