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Recently the Washington Post asked its readers to come up with amusing analogies:"His heart sank like a rowboat made of fish sticks."
"His eyes were a deep blue, like the color someone's lips turn when he's had a heart attack in the airport, just before he ges hit with the automatic external defibrillators."
"As usual, Larry King's questioning was anything but tough -- it was like trying to stone a heretic with Peeps."
"There was something about him that just screamed money, as if he'd trained a myna bird to fly around him screaming "money."
"She was jumping up and down laughing hysterically, like a hyena duct-taped to a kangaroo."
"His mustache looked like a fuzzy caterpillar seeking shade under a big nose."
"The news hit hard, like a stack of Washington Posts thrown from a moving truck -- in fact exactly like that."
"Her pushed-up cleavage reminded him of two Charlie Brown heads."
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Want to see a great fake-out move? Go here.
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Why We Split Up
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore, and I'd have to quit.
Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup, $150 for a cut and curl, $30 for a manicure, $40 for a pedicure, $50 on vitamins, $300 on clothes, and $600 for a gym membership.
I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed these things to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
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My favorite word today is yawn. N., been there, done that. Def.: Technical name for the third take of an orgasm scene during the making of a porno film.
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