On the Wings of a Dove

MizMell has tagged me with a meme. You know how I am about memes -- I ace 'em, that's what I do. That's because they is all about me, and I know more about me than you do.

So what this is, is I am supposed to write 8, or 5, true-or-false, stranger than fiction, oddball things about me. MizMell wrote 8, and found it was pretty hard, and so is 5. I might do 3. I might just do one and you can imagine the rest.

1. I am a bird freak. I go pretty far to see birds. I have been to three bird refuges since moving to Wilsonville. At the last one they had dog/pony show with a bald-headed eagle, a California vulture, a great horny owl and a macaw that got too big for its britches. Meanwhiles, I bought expensive binoculars which are the greatest thing since beached whale. See, they're 10x30, which makes them hard to hold on a bird. But they got this red button you press and everything in the view becomes stable. Great scott it is good.

2. I am a word freak. I guess it comes from years of reading the dictionary, the Bible and the encylopedia. None of which I've ever finished. The dictionary and encyclopedia had all the seamy stuff. For instance, when I read my local weekly it reports on thefts (bicycles, laptops, cameras, etc.) and then usually closes by saying, after police failed to find anything, "It was gone." The last issue of the paper had 11 "it was gone"s. I also have corrected spelling for some of you, so that makes me really freaky. I should keep my big nose out of your nose.

3. I have a big nose. This is not for sticking into your business; it is for wearing on my face. I think I read somewhere that when you die your ears and nose keep on growing for awhile. Might not be possible for me; the way things are going my ears are going to overlap my nose any minute now. My nose has got a lot of broken blood vessels in it, so I asked a hot-shot dermatologist if he could use a hot laser and make me pretty again. He said, "Nah." Shit.

4. My damn hip hurts. For the last year or so I have had a bad right hip. So I have had two epidurals, heat packs, cold packs, cold laser and now a steroid shot. As so many of you know, having constant pain is not the road to a fun life. I have not mentioned this before because I know how much you want me to be perfect. Well, just because my hip hurts I'm still better off than you. I have low blood pressure.

5. I care about politics. But I have not burdened you with it. There are lots of b**ggers who write about politics; for some of them, that's ALL they write about. I do have an Obama sticker on my b**g, but that's just so you who are supporting somebody else will not bother me with it. And I do post a riposte at the expense of George W. occasionally. But doesn't everybody? The reason I don't write about politics is because even if could convince you that you need to shape up and fly right, I wouldn't be able to mark your ballot for you. Scientists would say that is "too bad".

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My favorite word today is meme. N., a cultural for cults. Def.: The answer to: "Who was first in line?"