What Typecast Is Jesus?

Just because I say God doesn't exist doesn't mean I have turned my back on Jesus. No, nevermore. Jesus was a hell of a carpenter and a fisherman and he knew something about oenology, too. Well-rounded guy. So consider this:

1. There are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
He called everyone brother.
He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.

2. But, then, there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
He went into his father's business.
He lived at home until he was 33.
He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure he was God.

3. Then there are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
He talked with his hands.
He had wine with his meals.
He used olive oil.

4. And then there are 3 good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
He never cut his hair.
He walked around barefoot all the time.
He started a new religion.

5. But maybe he was an American Indian:
He was at peace with nature.
He ate a lot of fish.
He talked about the Great Spirit.

6. Then there are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
He never got married.
He was always telling stories.
He loved green pastures.

7. But the most compelling evidence of all -- 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
And even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was work to do.

+ + + + + + + +

The phone rings at this hotel where a West Virginian is at the helm.

"I wanted to ask you something," said the caller. "How are the rooms appointed?"

"Well," says WVa, "six of them are appointed west, and the rest are appointed east."

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite phrase today is mouse pad. N., what if it was a real mouse? Def.: Hippie talk for where a mouse lives.