These tape worms you wanna buy? Please specify whether you want them packed in oil, or water.+ + + + + + + +
I don't think I have told you about this book I have been reading, called "Oregon Desert." It's written by a desert rat, Reub Long, and an Oregon State University professor, E.R. Jackman. Jackman is not funny, but Long is.
He writes: "Juniper posts have been known to wear out three sets of postholes."
"They say it's too frosty here for watermelons, but I got some that grow so fast the frost can't catch 'em. They ain't practical, though -- them vines just spread so fast that the friction from the sand grains wears the melons out. They get drug to death."
"He hates water as much as the grimiest small boy, who has been defined as a loud noise entirely surrounded by dirt."
+ + + + + + + +
There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for half an hour.
Then this big, trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it down. The poor man started crying. The truck driver turned and said, "Come on, man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing.
"I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I discovered that I had left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison...."
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is skeleton. N., ankle bone connected to the knee bone... Def.: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
No comments:
Post a Comment