The Devil Made Me Do It

I just cain't he'p it, when Bugs Butt mentions Kid Relish, tears flood my eyebones.  The Butt did this recent-wise in commenting on one of my pieces, and it purnt near clobbered my heart valves.



See, Kid Relish was my semi-sidekick back in the day when Latigo Flint and I was dicking around in the hills just east of L. Angeles.  Relish owed more to Latigo than he did to me, so they palled paled bosom-buddied with each other more than Relish did with me.  But now and then Latigo was off chasin' grizzlies by hisself so Relish and I had our own adventures.  And the purpose of this piece is to tell you about one of them adventures.



On this occasion, Kid Relish and I were floatin' about in Tasmania where, you know, the Tasmanian Devil resides.  We had been hired to catch some of these dudes so scientists could try to find out why they was getting this cancer of the mouth.  Easy pickins, I figured.



Turned out, it warnt no easy job.  These Tas Devils is swifter 'n Peregrine Falcon, stronger 'n Superman's sister, and more powerful than a diesel-fueled locomotive.  It was tough pickins.



Tell the truth, we was about run off the job the very first day we went to work.  Kid Relish backed one of these cancer-struck Devils into a cave and reached for his rope (ever'body knows Relish was a master with his lasso).  But no sooner had he got it whirlin' around than Mr. Devil sucked his face off.



The Kid said "ouch" and maybe he said "man that smarts" and some other stuff.  I pulled out my six-gunshooter and blasted that Devil into the next county.  Or maybe it was a district, or a parish, or some other territory like that.  Anyways, it was far away.  When I get goin', I don't leave nothin' in the barrel.



We kept at it for a couple more days and got nowhere.  Found Judge Crater, though.

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite phrase today is broken leg.  N., Worse than compound interest.  Def.:  When I told my doctor I had broke my leg in two places, he said don't go to those places.