CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?"
The girl said, "No!"
So the guy lived happily ever after and rode motor cycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END
Maybe I should 'splain what happened to my last blog. I got some keys stuck is what happened and my computer nerd needed a day to get over here to fix it up. So that's why it also was short.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one day he stops to entertain in one of the many bars in West Virginia. He's going through his normal run of stupid jokes when a large fellow in about the fourth row stands on his chair and says, "I 've heard just about enough of your denigrating jokes."
He continues to berate the joker. "What makes you think you can stereotype us that way. I'ts guys like you who keep people like me from being respected at work and in the community, or of reaching their full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against us, all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the harrasser pipes up, "You stay out of this, Mister. I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee."
+ + + + + + + +
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day came and the farmer arrived without the horse. He said, "Sorry, Son, but I have some bad news. The horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Well, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya goin' to do with him?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse."
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I told 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
"Didn't anyone complain?" the farmer said.
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. I gave him his money back."
Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He's currently figuring out how to give us our money back.
+ ++ + + + + +
My favorite words today are toilet paper. N., no, stronger than that. D.: The closer it gets to the end the faster it goes.
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