I Keep Trying to Become Famous

Just how did YOU get into the b**gging game? This is a fascinating question (to Hoss, anyway). What started you down this path? I was interviewed by a young Texas lady on this subject, and I was so damn interesting I thought I would share my response. Then maybe you might want to answer the same questions on your own site, for lack of something better to do.

1. How did you come to learn about b**gging?

I noticed a story on my home page about the subject. It listed a few popular b**gs, which I looked up. Those listed other b**ggers, and those still more, so pretty soon I figured out what it was all about. A lot of it was trivia and trivial, but some of the writers were rather astute, and some were cute.

2. How long have you been b**gging?

I began in early January of this year. It seemed good to start in the winter so I could say, in case nobody ever read what I wrote, "Well, it is off-season."

3. What got you interested in creating your own b**g?

I found several writers who were doing humor and, having been the class clown in high school, I said, "I can do that." To obtain readership, which is what all b**ggers want, I began visiting other people, and some of them would visit me back. Some of them stuck with me. Now over 100 people stop by every day. So now I claim to be famous, which is what all b**ggers want.

4. How many b**gs do you have?

Just one. I thought of starting a second one, "365 Ways to Cook Rutabagas," but as you can see it would have had a limited life span so I didn't do it.

5. How has b**gging affected your life?

What makes you think I HAVE a life? Writing my piece and reading others' have proved to be efficient ways of keeping me from watching all the crap on TV.

6. What feelings do you associate with b**gging?

Remorse, chortling, anxiety, pity, cackling, uncertainty, glee, funny bones, pains in the butt.

7. How does b**gging benefit you?

I confess to having an ego. So when people say they get a laugh out of what I write, I swell up like a toad and bust my buttons. This is hard on my tailor, but adrenalin to me.

8. Discuss some of the relationships you have formed through b**gging and how they have affected your life.

You have finally got to my serious side. For some reason I have developed as good or better friendships with other b**ggers -- people I don't know -- than with most of the people at home whom I DO know. Most b**ggers are not terribly guarded; we tell each other our hopes, fears, desires, birthdays, philosophies and bents. I live in Oregon, but I have had writers in Maine and Michigan go out of their way while in my territory to come visit me in the Old Folks' Home where I live. Next April some of us are going to meet in Las Vegas for a mini-convention of b**ggers. Friends of mine from Connecticut, Michigan, South Carolina and Texas will be among the people there. When it's over, I am going to go see some of these people on their home grounds. They have invited me to stay overnight with them -- their judgment of my worthiness based solely on what I say on the Internet. We already exchange eMail hugs, sweatshirts and cookies. If not for people like this, I would be very lonely. But I am not.

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My favorite word today is yo. Vb., whassup? Def.: What the dyslexic rabbi says.