This Is Called 'Stuff'

It is "Be Nice to Somebody Today" today. So all of you (lurkers included) take 15 seconds and vote for my pal Sugarfused for "Best Photo B**g". The last 3 desktop pictures I got all came from her, which shows what good taste I got. To vote, go to 2005 Web Log Awards and click on Sugarfused. Maybe will take only 10 seconds. Git, y'all.

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Among the leaders in the International Pun Contest:

--Some chess enthusiasts were standing in the hotel lobby discussing their latest triumphs. The manager came out of his office and told them to disperse. "Why?," one asked. "Because," said the manager, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

--Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his bad diet, he suffered from bad breath. The result: He became a super- calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Does anyone know whether the Postal Service is doing this yet? Letting you put your own picture on the 37-cent stamp? Or, maybe, the picture of somebody you would be willing to go to bed with? Or a picture of the kind of polish sausages you like best? Or, possibly, your favorite slogan of all time?: "Lucky Strike Greens have gone to war."

I better get down to the Patent Leather office right quick, get me a CopyWilburWright on this idear.

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Here in the Old Folks' Home there are a lot of folks with the dreaded furniture disease: Their chest has fallen into their drawers.

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I wish I could remember who told me this: "There comes a time in every man's life, and this is one of them."

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My favorite word today is 2005. N., nobody ever remembers. Def.: What you will write on your checks all during the month of January, 2006.