In Praise of Lois Lane

Ha! Ho ho har de har har! I've got a Northern Illinois sweatshirt, and you don't!

Hoss 1, All the Rest of You Bozos Except Lois Lane 0.

Lois Lane, my good buddy, sent me this shirt for my birthday, and I only now got my grandson to take my picture so's I could put it on here. (And now that it's here, I suppose thousands of you will copy it and put it on your b**g so you can say "If I had a Northern Illinois sweatshirt I would put it on somebody a lot prettier than this.")

Anyway, that Lois Lane is one of the best of the 12 million b**ggers that exist, and I am going to prove it. Here are some edited snippets from pieces she did. Very small snippets, but enough to let you taste something even better than chocolate:

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What Goes Around

Lois's daughter, Lane 2, was given her Mom's older computer and managed to get it hit by bugs and gremlins. Lane 2 worked hard to raise the money for repairs, then ended up donating most of her earnings toward the school fundraiser for Hurricane Katrina victims. Lois decided to pay to get it fixed for Lane 2's birthday, so she called a computer repair guy (who makes house calls!!).

"He was at my house 35 minutes after we hung up....It took three hours for him to wipe out the bad and put in some new software...

"When he was done, I asked him what I owed him, and he said, 'Nothing.'

"I couldn't believe my ears. Three hours of work, and he drove out to my house and was charging me nothing? It just was too good to be true. I must have had a perplexed look on my face because he said, 'Your daughter did a good thing. You were doing a good thing by getting it fixed for her. I just wanted to do something good, too. Tell the kid I said Happy birthday, will ya?'"

Guido

Guido, Lois's 17-year-old cat once owned by Lois's mother, had to be "put down." Later, Lois is on the phone with her Mom:

"After the initial sad stuff was said, Mom thought she would cheer me up by calling me 'C.K.,' short for cat killer.*

"'Um, Mom? That won't be funny for at least a week.'

"'Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get a laugh out of you. I'll mark it down in the calendar to try again next week.'...

"As we were talking, I was cleaning litter boxes, removing all of Guido's things and washing food and water dishes. As I poured the fresh food in, my Mom heard all the noise and said, 'My goodness, what are you doing?'

"'I'm feeding the other cats.' After a long pause, I said, 'No sense in taking them all out in one day.'

"'Hahaha! That's my girl!'

"Laughter really is the best medicine."

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My favorite phrase today is Not exactly Lassie. Adj., fakes left, goes right. Def.: The dog who barks at nothing to see if you will pay attention in case it's ever required.

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*(Also my granddaughter's sobriquet, until her recent promotion in the ranks of the Humane Society of the Willamette Valley.)