Have you noticed lately that gas prices are coming down? Big deal. Don't you remember when we thought $2 a gallon was outrageous? I hate being conditioned like this.....+ + + + + + + +
Okay, explain this.
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Somebody (my local newspaper?) listed some statements made by school students that lent themselves to frivolity. For instance:
Q. Name the four seasons
Ans. Salt, pepper, mustard, vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the Moon, because there is no water on the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A. The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O and U.
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does "varicose" mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
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My favorite phrase today is salmon day. N., three little fishies swam over the dam, boop boop... Def.: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
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