Look for Me on Your Dresser

Something I wrote recently has come back to give me a reminder. It said, "I am not going to live forever...." Pretty deep, huh? And for a guy who don't believe in the God thing, its also pretty bleak.

Well, it would be bleak for some people, but not me. As you know, I plan to reincarnate; the only thing is I can't make up my mind as to what to reincarnate as (or to?). But my mind, ever working working working, has come up with this: Why don't I just reincarnate as something you treasure? See, I don't think there's any limit about the number of reincarnations you can have, so I guess I can come back as your childhood shoes, your dog, your brooch hubby gave you, the smile your wife gave you, your cat, your car, anything you really like.

And I will like you back.

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A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin, and truth be told, he's a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers under the sheet as her husband undresses in the dark.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly.

A thoughtful silence ensues and he waits patiently. She eventually whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls....Numba 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone, he asks her:

"You want....Garlic Chicken wiff Corrifrowa?"

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My favorite word today is bozone. N., just this side of the Milk Way. Def.: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.