Bone Voyager

Here I am, in all my GoGo Scooter glory, courtesy of The Scamp. This was a heckuva deal, and I only wish I had signed up for it earlier. Anyway, I have turned the dude over to the rental outfit and we are on the way to the airport.

We got one of them “specials to the airport” for $5. See, the reason it is only $5 is because it is the roughest ride since before shock absorbers. This is a 15-passenger van, and I swear the driver could have found pot holes in heaven. My gall bladder and liver have changed places and he has intermingled my kidneys. My heart busted through my rib cage. If I were still alive, I would think up ways to get even.

Did I tell you about the Peking Duck? I had that baby at an Italian-Chinese (yes indeedy) named Ciao Mein. That’s so cute. Anyway, Peking Duck is not from China; otherwise it would be covered in lead paint.

And there is no Peking anymore, except, I guess, in tea. Why can't people leave well enough alone? When I was growing up we had Burma, Peking, Ceylon and Rhodesia. Now we got Myanmar, Beijing, Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe. The capitol of Zimbabe is not Salisbury but Harare. I am not buying a new globe.

Here's maybe a better picture of me en shabille (I think this is a Norwegian phrase meaning "pretty as a peacock", but I am not sure). This is me at the Aquarius.

This also is at the Aquarial. The funny looking thing at bottom-center is a giant clam, filtering the water. It does NOT filter human beings, no matter what movie you've seen.

Actually, we are home now. I may have a few more pictures for you. All of them dramatic.

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My favorite word today is flatulence. N., aroma in the night. Def.: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.