I Wouldn't Do That to a Dog

Some people just cannot leave Well Enough alone. It is Well Enough when your dog earns your petting and bitches about his food. It is not Well Enough when you dress up your dog as Rumplestiltskin or the Wicked Witch from the East. That is so over the top. But, here is what some owners thought their dogs should be: fashion plates. Now you know why you occasionally read "Dog Bites Man."











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For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night she confided that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his marriage or his reputation, he paid her a large sum of money to go to Italy to have the child secretly. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to a confused wife. "Honey," she says, "you received a very strange postcard today." He responds, "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain later."

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce."

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My favorite word today is circumvent. N., round and round she goes and where she stops nobody knows. Def.: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.