Was Jesus Ever in a Hurry?

Official Republican Party Campaign Car

This has been designed to keep up with the way McCain is laying out the Party's campaign message.

"A New Direction."

You figure it out. Scamp has a headache.

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A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have accelerated through the red right.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a knocking on her car window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. He ordered her to exit the car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.


"I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license-plate holder, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the fender. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

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When I was born, Big Ernie gave me two choices:

2. I could either have a GREAT memory,

OR

2. I could be GREAT in bed!!



Oh, poop, up the crick without a paddle!! Now I forgot what I wuz gonna tell ya.

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My favorite word today is eei*%$#sumbiatch$%^+#. Adj., holy hell! Def.: The expression on a man's face when he has just zipped up his pants without due care and attention.