It Can't Be Done, Rilly

Wouldn't it be wonderful if somebody actually made a mobile phone that didn't have all those bells and whistles? And didn't have on it the words that say "Your call is very important to us?" Bitch....

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This can't be real unless you believe in cellphone reality. Or, maybe, if you believe in justice:

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A young boy went to his father and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment and then answered: "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could freally use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university."

The boy went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt. I would sleep with him in a heartbeat! Are you nuts?"

Then the boy went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know what a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. The father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes I did. Potentially you and I are sitting on three million dollars. But, realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."

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My favorite word today is idiot. N., just when I needed some. Def.: An employee somewhere is depriving his village of one of these.