Born to Run, On and On and On

Today I met a new Inmate of the Home. "Hi," he said. "I'm George Beezer." I say, "Hi, I'm old Hoss." We smile, shake hands, tap each other on the shoulder, compare dick sizes, sniff butts -- all those ritual things two alpha males do to greet each other. Then, I make The Fatal Blunder: "Where you from, George?"

"I was borned over in Beezerville, which was settled by the descendants of Zebulon Beezer who was named after the fella that built Pike's Peak over in Colorado where the Beezers originated before coming to Oregon where they was farmers before getting into the real estate business selling lots to Easterners who never came here, which was fine because they wasn't any paved streets on accounta the low tax base which pissed off my wife Bizee Beezer (ain't that a jim-crack of a name?) who was the mayor over there for maybe 30 years because no one else wanted a job where there wasn't enough tax income to make any graft off of, not that my wife needed it because I had a good job as manager of a Woolworth's which probably doesn't exist anymore because of all the Walmarts but it was a nice store back then with hardwood floors and lots of dime-store rings and hankies and such that you don't hardly see no more, not that they were such treasures and wouldn't be worth much in an estate, which was good for me because my wife didn't have any of that stuff when she died so I was sitting pretty but then my damn son-in-law dumped me in this place so's I could die sooner and he could get his hands on my Woolworth retirement checks. So, how about you?"

George has committed The Fatal Blunder!

Me: "Let's see, I was born in a log cabin in Illinois on February 12, 1809.... walked to school....lawyer....Mary....erection....Tad was born....election....Confederacy was born....John Wilkes Booth, damnation....reincarnation....Carrie Nation....Birth of a Nation....FDR....World War II, purple heart....Korean War, purple shaft..." His eyes start to glaze over; my eyes start to glaze over, everybody's eyes in the whole damn world start to glaze over...