I Can't Win -- and Don't

Here are major statistics from the Home for the Feeble:

1,551 -- number of meals I have been served since moving here.
3 -- number of times the meal has been served on time.

Several of us have complained to The Administration (saying things like "darn," "heck," "shucks" and "dagnabit". But they know they can Have Their Way With Us because we're too lazy to move, we're too weak to fight back, and we're all bordering on Alzheimer's. I have a plan, though: I am going to SHOW UP LATE!! Take that!

Lunch today, though, was "fun." The entrees were "Spaghetti with meat sauce and Parmesan cheese" and "Shrimp in cream sauce over pasta, with Parmesan cheese." When served, neither entree had Parmesan. I asked the server why not. She told me:

"If we put Parmesan on the food today we wouldn't have any to not give you the next time it's on the menu."

Well, that clears THAT up....