Toes to Toes, the Nose Is In It....

A woman in her late 40s went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The doc tells her of a new procedure called "The Knob." A small knob is implanted on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten uip the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Fifteen years later the woman goes back to the surgeon for a consultation.

"All these years everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I've loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First of all, I've got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doc looks at her and says, "Those aren't bags; those are your breasts."

And she replies, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee."

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FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE

1. It is important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

AND....

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

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My favorite phrase today is labor pain. N., boy, that hurts. Def.: Getting hurt at work.