The Lad Has All the Answers

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. So one day they decide they want to get married. Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, Jenny and I are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this is just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without taking even a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can fit in there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then, how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny gets $5 a week and I make $10 a week. That's about $60 a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time, Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

"Well, Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you have little ones of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

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A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?"

The boy replied, "What turkey?"

The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."

The boy looks, and says, "Well lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm."

The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break its leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to that bird, I'm going to do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"

"Well, mister, I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go."

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My favorite word today is LAN. N., where the next rover settles down. Def.: To borrow, as in "Hey Delbert! Can you LAN me your truck?"