Hilary Maketh Disappearance

Hilary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk to the children. After her talk, she offers a question-and-answer time.

One little boy raises his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he replies. "And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"Actually, I have three questions:
"First, whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years as President?
"Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
"Third, whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then, the bill rings for recess. Hilary informs the kids they will continue after recess. When they resume, Hilary says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand up. Hilary asks him what his name is. "My name is Larry." "And what is your question, Larry?" she asks.

"Really, I have five questions:
"First, whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years as President?
"Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
"Third, whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
"Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
"Fifth, what happened to Kenneth?"

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A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown.

One day the mechanic was working on a car in his backyard when he dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.

That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning, the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench, glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened, he looked up to the heavens and sang out proudly:

"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!"

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My favorite phrase today is fully recovered. Adv., good thing it wasn't botulism. Def.: What happens to the guy who falls into the upholstery machine.