Suicide for the Self

You may not know it, but I continue to guest post over at Tisha's place. Some mighty thoughtful thoughts over there, pardner.

+ + + + + + + +

How's about an advertisement banned in the United States? Would you believe censorship has reared its mighty might? It is not banned for us who cleverly slide around it, though, so take a peek here.

+ + + + + + + +

Listen: Did you know an AM radio also can be used in the PM?

+ + + + + + + +

I could do better than this If My Nose Was Running Money. At least I think so.

+ + + + + + + +

A dentist noted that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous. So, he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

"No, I don't," she replied.

"Well," he said, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex. Workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile. Oh well, he thought. At least I tried.

Five minutes later, during a sensitive part of the operation, the little old lady burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made."

+ + + + + + + +

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite hobby, fishing! I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me. But she never did like fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait and Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner. It turned out Sam likes bass fishing just about as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, but a few minutes later Sam caught what must have been his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass we caught and showed the picture to the wife, hoping that maybe she'd get interested.

But, instead, she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore. And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.

What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby, or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists? This is a real dillemer.

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite phrase today is electile dysfunction. N., are there pills for this? Def.: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President*.

+ + + + + + + +

*(Except Obama, of course.)