A news story is titled: "Vatican Updates Its Thou-Shalt-Not List".
This is not, really, news. Last year the Vatican took on the problem of highway accidents, issuing a kind of "Ten Commandments" for drivers against the sins of road rage, alcohol abuse, and even rudeness behind the wheel (gimme dat finger, holy holy, gimme dat finger, glory hallelujah).
Other sicknesses that need to be added: Ecstasy, LSD, methamphetamine, and cloning of cows. Really. That's what they're after. And cows and sheep that put out all that methane. Don't get me started on bad recyclers.
Oh, another grim reaper: Scandal and sin within the church (meaning: priests buggering the choir boys). But with the latest round of payouts, the church is really doing something about an age-old sin: Taking from the rich and giving to the poor.
So I have added up all the sins, new and old, and have a new total: The 666 Commandments.
How's that, Lucifer?
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You ain't never seen no magic till you see what this guy can do.
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Dear Hoss:
My 12-year-old son is becoming a real burden. He thinks he is old enough to operate the can opener and I think he should wait until he is 13. Everything happens at age 13, you know: A child becomes a teenager and hell won't wait till he gets his first piece of ass. I don't think they's made a can opener that will let a 12-year-old open a chastity belt, but maybe this is not news to you. You seem to be way ahead of the life and times.
S/West Virginia Mountain Momma
Dear Mommer:
I don't think they make 12-year-olds like they used to. In the old days, they was sweet-smelling choir boys whose business got minded by the priest. Maybe it would be okay for him to get a piece of ass before his ass gets pieced out. Sort of preparing him for finer things, don't ya know?
Way, Way Ahead Ol' Hoss
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My favorite word today is amen. Adj., don't sleep where they can see you. Def.: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
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