They Get Around to Me

Put me down for Fridays.

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Critics of who made a mess out of the economy keep coming up with people to blame.  Lately they've had at Alan Greenspan.  But he says it's not his fault.  All he can be blamed for is a flaw in his thinking, he says.  It wasn't like that was a mistake or anything.

In fact, all of the people who've had a crack at owning up to misbehavior have said "It wasn't me."

Well of course it wasn't!!  Those people who are not shouldering the blame make way too much money for them to take the blame for anything.  Rich people do not make misteaks......see, I made one right there so's you will not think that I am rich.  Every time the economy goes into the tank, the fat cats look around for somebody to blame and always, it's me.

It all started with my mortgage and the fact that my house slid downhill during the last rainfall because I got too fat from eating Orville Redenbacher and so I wasn't able to go downtown to spend my paycheck which I don't have one of anymore because I lost my job dealing "21" at the American Legion Club.

You can see how things would pile up on a guy.  No kidding.  When it comes time to shovel the blame there ain't two or three ways about it.  If the economy turns sour, it's Ol' Hoss who provided the lemons.  And that puts everybody else at ease.  Those folks looking for a dope to blame can go right back to what they were doing, which was, of course, nothing.

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A zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.  As he enters, he asked St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth.  Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

St. Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer."

So the zebra went off in search of God.  When he found Him, the zebra asked, "Please God, I must know:  Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"

God simply replied, "You are what you are."

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God answer your query for you?"

The zebra, looking puzzled, answered, "No sir, God simply said, 'You are what you are.'"

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well, then, there you are.  You are white with black stripes.

The zebra asked, "How do you know that for certain?"

"Because," St. Peter said, "if you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

(If you laughed at this, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will be on your ass.  But I voted for Barack Obama and I laughed at this, and probably so did he.  Keep smiling, Sunshine.)

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My favorite word today is religious views.  N., use any camera you like.  Def.:  People who want to share these with you almost never want you to share yours with them.