This Bird Is Tetched in the Head

This is really strange.  Sometimes you can tell the sexes of birds by their colors.  You know, how the male Mallard Duck is brightly colored, while the Female is a pale brown.  And how the American Goldfinch turns bright yellow during the mating season.  But crows?  Gimme a break.  Or seagulls (which leave you asking which are the gulls and which are the boys).

But a fellow birdwatcher tipped me to this way of figuring out which was the he-duck, and which was the she-duck.  "Just pay attention," he said.  So I did (click on the picture):

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This couple had been married 35 years, and every Sunday the husband would go golfing with his friends.  He NEVER missed a day.

This Sunday, however, as he is getting ready to go his wife says, "No, you can't go golfing today.  I want you to stay around the house, maybe help me weed."

He did the only logical thing:  He pulled out his 7-iron and beat her to death with it.  Then, being a good citizen, he called the cops.  The chief of the cops asked the husband what happened.

The man tells the cop ther whole story.  "And when she said I couldn't go golfing I freaked out.  I took my 7-iron and hit her over the head with it until she died."

The cop says, "I understand.  But I need to ask for my report:  How many times did you hit her?"

The man answers, "Nine times, but tell the guys it was only four."

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My favorite word today is time.  N., felons get a lot of this.  Def.:  Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.