Dance Me the Loose Language

Somebody, I say somebody, sent me alink for a beauteous piece of magic, an amazingly quick change of clothes. I recommend you go see it here.

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For as long as I can remember, I have had amnesia.

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To set the parameters for the class, the professor began by asking some questions.

To a female student: "What is the opposite of joy?"

Student: "That would be sadness."

To another female student: "What is the opposite of depression?"

Student: "That is elation."

To a male student: "And you, young man, what is the opposite of woe?"

Student: "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

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So husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

The husband and the blind man decide to walk. After awhile, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

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My favorite word (again) today is old. N., as your skin turns into leather. Def.: When an attractive girl sits down next to an ancient male and asks, "Is this your good ear?"