A baby penguin walks into a bar, and says to the bartender:
"Have you seen my Dad?"
"What's he look like?"
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The year is 2222. Mike and Maureen have accumulated a bunch of frequent flier miles, and they land on Mars, stuffing Santa on the way there, as you see.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" she asks."Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member -- about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
"Why?" he says. "What's the matter?"
"Well," she responds, "it's just not long enough to reach me."
"No problem," he says, and he proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap his member grows until it is impressively long. "Well," she says, "that's pretty impressive, but it looks like a long pencil; it's still pretty narrow...."
"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow," she exclaims, and they fall into bed and have mad, passionate sex. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.
As they walk along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," Maureen says, "but it was damn good. How about you?"
"It was horrible," Mike says. "All I got was a headache. She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
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My favorite word today is old. Adj., older than dirt. Def.: When you can't find your glasses without your glasses.
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