A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and tells the bartender: "Gimme me a beer -- and how about one for the road?"+ + + + + + + +
My buddy Vicki has sent me a swell story, for which I am thankin' her mightily:
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find trwo grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," says one trooper.
"Tell me! Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other, and finally one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 25-pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
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My favorite word today is seasons. N., what you put on your beef. Def.: There are two of these in Oregon: rainy....and wet.
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