New mints come in two different varieties. Ones with Bush on the cover are sold as "embarrassmints." Ones with the whole Bush cabinet on it are sold as "indictimints."
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The employee is making love to the boss's wife.
"Kiss me! Kiss me!" she cries.
"I can't," said he. "I shouldn't even be doing this."
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A black goes to this psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says, "First, drop to your hands and knees and crawl to that wall over there." The black complies, and the doc says, "Kind of nice." Then he says, "Now, crawl to this wall over here." The black complies once again, and the doc says, "That's even better. Finally," says the psychiatrist, "crawl to that lamp over there." The black patient complies, and the psychiatrist says, "That would work, too."
The black stands up and says, "How is this going to help me, doc?"
"Oh, it won't help you," says the psychiatrist. "But I've got a black naugahyde couch coming in and I wanted to see where it looks best."
(I KNOW it's outrageous, but I couldn't resist. All in fun, see.)
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From the "Police Reports" section of our local weekly: "A men's pinky ring, reported lost on Dec. 28, possibly at Shari's Restaurant. A couple reported that they got home after dining out and realized it was missing from the man's pinky."
(This is when newspaper reporters pick up on police jargon.)
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My favorite word today is feathers. N., well I'll be flocked. Def.: This tickles me.
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