Bush Says Hello

When Dubya responds, he doesn't necessarily mean it. Right?

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This friend has a Dad in a nursing home, suffering from Alzheimer's. So he tries to cheer him up:

"Hey, Dad, Easter is coming up. Ain't that swell? You'll be able to hide your own eggs."

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So this guy asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, my fiance and I would like your permission for us to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."

"So," the guy says, "after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," says the Mullah. "It's forbidden in Islam."

"Well, okay," says the young man. "What about sex? Can we have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Mullah. Sex is OK within marriage to have children."

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the Mullah.

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the Mullah. "Go for it."

"Doggy style?"

"Sure!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Can we do it with all my four wives together, on rubber sheets, with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porn video?"

"You may indeed!" enthuses the Mullah.

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No," says the Mullah.

"Why not?" asks the man.

"It could lead to dancing."

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My favorite word today is egotist. N., have I told you lately about how swell I am? Def.: Someone who's usually me-deep in the conversation.