If Women Were in Charge....

Look, there's a woman running for President. Pictured here are some of her plans for "improvements."








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The Pope and Hillary Rods are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. Hilary and His Holiness have seen it all before, however, so to make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand, I can make every Democrat in the world go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave from her elicits rapture and cheering from every Democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy. This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all the people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.

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My favorite phrase today is hardened criminal. N., he knows how to finish his yeggs. Def.: A thief who falls into wet cement and breaks his leg.