This cop sees the low-rider pull out of the Kentucky Fried Chicken parking lot. A bucket of chicken is on the roof of the car.The cop sees his chance to be a Good Samaritan. So he hauls the guy over, grabs the bucket of chicken off the top of the car and says, in a happy tone of voice: "Want some chicken?"
Driver says: "No, thanks. I just bought some."
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How to Clean the House (I got this from ______. Fill in your name here.):
Open a new file in your PC.
Name it "Housework."
Send it to the Recycle Bin.
Empty the Recyle Bin.
Your PC will ask you: "Are you sure you want to delete 'Housework' permanently?"
Calmly answer: "Yes," pressing the mouse button firmly.
Feel better?
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Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds two finches have dropped dead from old age. So he puts them in a sack. In the monkey cage he discovers two of the oldest monkeys also have kicked the bucket. Waste not, want not, so he puts them in the sack with the finches and pitches them into the lion's cage at feeding time.
"Holy cow!" the lion roars. "Not finch and chimps again!"
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My favorite phrase today is dual careers. N., so who's taking care of the kids today? Def.: Reference to a fencing teacher.
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