Why We're Going to Love Women

We all know it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman, other than his wife, naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So, this Sunday at 4 p.m. Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonsterate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women.

And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-terrorist sentiment. The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America and GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN!!

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Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon (according to my buddy Kenju), when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years I took your advice about where to go.

"Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

"Two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.

"And last year you suggested Tahiti, and dang if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther: "So what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob: "This year I'm takin' Earlene with me."

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My favorite word today is trouble. N., right here in River City. Def.: A Baptist, when he's not held under long enough.