My Bonny Lies Over the Turkey

You would sing this turkey to the tune of "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean," also known as "Dubya Rows His Boat Up the Creek."

The turkey shot out of the oven
And rocketed into the air.
It knocked every plate off the table,
And partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
And burst with a deafening boom,
Then splattered all over the kitchen,
Completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows.
It totally coated the floor.
There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
Where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance;
It smeared every saucer and bowl.
There wasn't a way I could stop it,
That turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
And thought with chagrin as I mopped,
That's I'd never again stuff a turkey
With popcorn that hadn't been popped.

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My favorite word today is dyspepsia. N., what happens when you move. Def.: Withdrawal from Pepsi.