Elephant! Elephant!

You know the drill: Right after Halloween you say Elephant! Elephant!, and all month you will have good luck.


(Maybe you say Rabbit! Rabbit! at the first of EACH month. It's been awhile. But the thing is, I DO have an elephant joke.)

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This is a great recipe:

Take one elephant and cut it into bite-size pieces. Cook until tender. This will serve 4,360 people.

If you have more people than that, it is okay to add a couple of rabbits to the mix. But be warned: Some people do not like hare in their stew.

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"Is this beef rare?"

"Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."

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My favorite word today is grindstone. N., Down by the old grindstone, where I first met you.... Def.: Get polished or ground down, take your pick.