Games People Play

Here are some swell games you can play when you get old like me:

1. Sag, you're it

2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy

3. 20 Questions, shouted into your good ear

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the doc says bend over

6. Doctor Goose

7. Simon Says something incoherent

8. Hide and go pee

9. Spin the bottle of Mylanta

10. Musical recliners

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More of You Know You're Getting Old When....

1. You have a party and the neighbors don't realize it.

2. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

3. You sing along with elevator music.

4. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them, either.

5. Your supply of brain cells is down to a manageable size.

6. You stoop to tie your shoelaces, then ask yourself, "What else can I do while I'm down here?"

7. You can't remember where you got this list.

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My favorite word today is modem. N., the kneebone connected to the thigh bone. Def.: What you did to the weeds in your back yard.