Well I'll Be Durned

I would like you to believe that I sent you this card. But that would be wrong. On accounta it was sent to me by Janie Known as Poopie, who lives over there in West Tennessee. Anyway, it's pretty funny.

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In Oregon, we count the tines on one side of a deer's head and that's the rating it gets. Like, a deer with three tines is a 3-point; one with four tines is a 4-point, and you get the picture. But in some states they count all the tines, so in these examples a 3-point becomes a 6-point, and a 4-point becomes an 8-point. Actually, the states where they count all the tines have the advantage, because sometimes a deer will have 3 tines on one side and 4 on the other. This raises all kinds of hell when a guy is trying to figure out whether he got a 3-point or a 4-point. (There is no such thing as a 3 1/2 point.) (It also raises hell with the vegetarians, who had just as soon this guy had not shot Bambi.)

Now then, what makes this interesting is, when Scamp and I were driving to our new house during the move, a _-point jumped in front of my car and I darn near hit it. I know it wasn't a forked horn (which is a 2-point) because it had more tines than that. But was it a 3-, 4- or 5-point (6-, 8- or 10-)? (Scamp has never hunted, so all she knew was that it had horns -- sort of like I used to have.)

Anyway, the move went just swell, except Scamp's knuckles are bloody and we still have 108 boxes to empty. The movers needed overtime: They started at 8 a.m. and finished at 11:30 p.m. I blame it on the 35 pots of plants Scamp had them move.

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My favorite word today is elderhostel. N., grumpy old man. Def.: Antonym for a friendly senior citizen.