A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.The woman took out her billfold, extracted ten dollars, and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," said the homeless woman.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No, I don't waste my time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time tryng to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you nuts?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman. "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead I am going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me."
The homeless woman is astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied: "That's okay. It's important to him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
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Murphy's Other Laws:
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is, like, night.
Just remember: If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, some asshole will try to pass.
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My favorite word today is flashlight. N., one if by sea? Or was it two? Def.: A case for holding dead batteries.
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